Does anyone out there know how to get a toddler to stop biting her older sister! Morgan is in this biting phase. She bites Kaelyn a million times a day. I've been putting her in time out when she does it, but it doesn't seem to be working. She'll even come up to us and bite us for no reason. I didn't have this problem with Kaelyn. She bit, but it was a very short phase and she didn't do it as often. But then again she didn't have a bossy older sister either. :) I think it might be a communication problem though. Morgan still hasn't officially said her first word yet. She says "da" for dad, "ba ba" for bye bye and "uh-oh." She starts speech therapy soon. I can't wait for her to start talking. She's been throwing so many tantrums because she can't communicate what she wants and I think she's biting becuase she can't communicate how she's feeling. Hopefully it will stop soon. It's just hard to run in their room when Kaelyn is screaming when I'm trying to get a baby to sleep who never wants to sleep. It always happens when Jack starts to doze off. And of course he's wide awake after I take care of Morgan. If we have another one they are going to be a little further apart next time.
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1 week ago
7 comments:
Wow. You should ask Christy. She is really good with coming up with solutions for problems with childrens behavior. When I taught preschool we just had to discipline everytime the action occured. And we had to try a new way to discipline everytime. Some parents bit their kids to show them how bad it can hurt, that works in some cases but it can also reverse their thinking into, "mommy and daddy bit me, it's okay to bite others." I didn't know Morgan wasn't talking! It probably is a communication thing and she will outgrow it. You should teach Jackson simple sign language in case the same problem comes up with him and he won't talk.
I am so sorry! My mom used to put hot sauce in our mouths. I'm not sure how I feel about that yet. I actually did it when Kylie started sticking out her tongue at me and she hasn't done it since, but Morgan might be too young to understand the purpose of that? I know I'm horrible. Other than that...hopefully speech therapy works fast! Maddi gets really mean when she can't communicate either. She mostly pinches and pulls hair though. Darn...you'll have to let me know if you find something that works...meanwhile I will be thinking of possible solutions and let you know if I come up with anything.
love ya, Laura
This is what the professional social worker says:
Children bite because they need to feel a sense of control. Toddlers have little to no control in their lives. Older kids will demonstrate their control by refusing to eat, reverting on potty training, etc. But toddlers don't even have those means. (And young children release tension through their mouths... they don't have other coping skills yet.)
And it definitely sounds like Morgan is frustrated, obviously can't express her feelings, which adds to the frustration, which leads to biting.
So really the only thing to do is figure out whats frustrating her. And it may not necessarily be Kaelyn. There's probably more to the frustration then just not being able to talk, that probably adds to whatever it is.
You know your daughter the best. Create some way to track what happens right before she bites, what is triggering her. And then since you know your daughter best, you can intervene before she bites. Whatever it is that frustrates her show her how to problem solve and work her through it.
Whats something that Morgan LOVES to do? What can always put a smile on her face? She may need more of that as a reward after she doesn't bite. When the two of you handle a "trigger" successfully without biting.
Morgan's seeking control. And if you bite her, or offer other disciplines it'll only get worse. She'll feel even less control. You have to empathize with what she's feeling, and help her work through it. She doesn't have enough experience to know how to handle all her emotions.
Those are my thoughts without knowing the specifics of the situations. Sometimes parents have a hard time identifying "triggers" because the biting seems independent of everything, and appears to come out of nowhere. So you may have to broaden your thinking to more than just what happens right before the biting. And speech therapy should help... hopefully she will feel more in control of her environment because people will understand her.
Now your cousin says, How frustrating! I obviously haven't had to deal with that yet, so good luck! Do whatever you gotta do to survive!
So I see she qualified for speech therapy! Did they find a provider? I would be happy to do it for her if they have difficulty finding a provider for you. Do you know who the service coordinator is that's trying to find Morgan a provider. Just some pointers...begin teaching a couple of basic signs, look them up on the internet (signs for more, eat, drink, stop, mine, play, toy, etc.)You will be amazed how fast she will pick these up and how they will encourage verbal expression.
www.lifeprint.com is a website that shows pictures and some animation of signs
Bite her back
i cant help, but looks like you got some good advice!! good luck!!
ps. do you have access to lindsay frohms page, i totally didnt give her my email and she totally made it private before she was supposed too! :)
if you do can you give her my email address...its lpierce621@yahoo.com
thanks!
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